Dude Leaves Pregnant Girlfriend Home Alone During Birth To Go On Vacation for 3 Weeks

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Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jan 3, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Putting yourself first isn't always such a bad thing. We live in a society that encourages us to self-sacrifice constantly, and depending on the context, it can be brave to put your needs above others. Of course, there are exceptions to this rule. Whether you like it or not, sometimes you are absolutely positively needed in a situation, whether it be at home or at work, and it would be incredibly irresponsible to, let's say, take a three-week vacation to Nordic countries to celebrate your 40th birthday. 

One father-to-be didn't get that memo and decided to go through with a previously planned international vacation right when his girlfriend was going to give birth. He made the choice to leave her all alone, without other family members or hired help to assist her during the birth of his child. As expected, Reddit tore this guy a new one and refused to enable his bad choices. 

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  • 01
    020 r/AmltheAsshole u/Apprehensive-Air5707 22h AITA for saying my brother is selfish for planning to go on a trip and leave his girlfriend alone with their baby?
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 02
    My (26F) half-brother (39M) met his girlfriend (36F) a little over a year ago. She unexpectedly got pregnant and they decided to keep the baby. The birth is supposed to be in March.
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 03
    In July, my brother and father are going on a three- week bike tour of some Nordic countries. His girlfriend will be left alone to care for the baby as well as the house, the vegetables, the garden, and all their animals (a flock of sheep and a dog). Her family lives abroad and while my brother's mother will be able to come by occasionally to help, she won't be able to stay the whole time as her health is poor and she's elderly. It should be noted that the girlfriend herself has a heart conditio
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 04
    I recently overheard my brother and father talking together about the trip, with my brother saying that his girlfriend always knew that trip was in the cards. since it was my brother's present to himself for his 40th birthday, and he "told her so since they first met". When I later tried talking to them separately about postponing the trip a year or so, that was the same reason I got. I pointed out that the baby wasn't planned and should take priority over a trip, but they both got defensive and
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 05
    ETA: The girlfriend is not fine with the trip. She's a first-time mom who knows nothing about babies and is very anxious about childbirth and childrearing, especially since she has no support system here. I don't know whether she and my brother had a conversation that prompted the one between my brother and father about the trip, but she's a traditional and selfless person who frequently does too much for others even when she suffers from it. That's also why I'm worried about her.
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 06
    ETA 2: Well, RIP my inbox. I read and appreciate everyone's feedback, though I can't answer all of you. And to whoever sent me a Reddit Care message, I find it hilarious my post was able to make you this mad. Hit too close to home, perhaps? You've been reported. Enjoy your ban.
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 07
    DLCMotroni • 22h Colo-rectal Surgeon [32] NTA - maybe girlfriend should be going abroad to her family before the baby comes - your bro is absolutely being selfish leaving her to take care of all that stuff while he's gone after giving birth. How does gf feel about all these responsibilities being left to her? 43.7k Reply
    via u/DLCMotroni
  • 08
    Apprehensive-Air5707 OP 22h ● How does gf feel about all these responsibilities being left to her? Anxious. She's a very selfless, reserved person so she hasn't outright complained about it to me because she doesn't want to spoil my brother's happiness and she's very big on traditional gender roles, but it's her first baby and I can tell she's not happy about being left to her own devices just a few months after the child will be born. That and she doesn't quite realize what she's getting into,
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 09
    opensilkrobe . 21h He needs to hire experienced help for her while he's gone, since no family can come help. G ... 470
    via u/opensilkrobe 7
  • 10
    Apprehensive-Air5707 OP • 21h They can't afford it, supposedly. And don't ask me how they can afford a bike trip to Northern Europe but not professional help or why they had a baby when they're broke. I'm just as frustrated about it as I am about this whole story. ↑ 647 ↓
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 11
    GardenSafe8519 • 21h Colo-rectal Surgeon [44] Tell her to sell half the sheep while he's gone and use the money to pay for help. 4553
    via u/GardenSafe8519
  • 12
    Hello-there-7567 • 20h Info: Can I please ask, did they get those animals together as a couple? Just wondering if your brother planned that trip for such a long time, in whose care was he going to leave the animals? If I were the gf I would go and see my family before giving birth and stay there at least until she is fully recovered. There is so much that can go wrong when giving birth, if there are any complications she might be bed bound for some time. Who is going to look after the animals th
    via u/Hello-there-7567
  • 13
    Apprehensive-Air5707 OP 5h He had the animals before he met her. I'm not sure who he was planning to leave them to before her - probably his mother or me, but he's not much of a planner. She can't go to her family. Other than the fact that I don't think she'd want that and neither would my brother, she has appointments due to her medical issues. 426
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 14
    fallingintopolkadots • 22h Colo-rectal Surgeon [47] NTA. Your brother is being selfish and oblivious for expecting it to be no big deal to make his gf take care of their 4-ish month infant alone while also caring for the house, the vegetables, the garden, and all their animals (a flock of sheep and a dog) all by herself. He could have postponed the trip, made it shorter, or promised to make sure he can arrange friends or hiring someone to help her out. He's being a crappy partner and father, and
    via u/fallingintopolkadots
  • 15
    Apprehensive-Air5707 OP 22h My father was a deadbeat, so I'm not surprised coming from him, but I am disappointed in my brother. 303
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 16
    O Impressive-Scene-588-21h Ask your brother what the plan is if she suffers from PPD, as 1 in 7 women do? What if she's recovering from a traumatic birth experience as 1 in 4 women have? If he wants to go on this trip then it should be his responsibility to make sure his obligations on fulfilled by someone else, not the new mother of his newborn infant. He needs to line someone up to take care of the animals and find someone to help with the housework. That's HIS problem to solve not hers. If he
    via u/Impressive-Scene-588
  • 17
    Apprehensive-Air5707 OP. 11h I already know his answer will be that I'm always negative and expecting the worst. He's the hopeless wide-eyed optimist type. His girlfriend doesn't even know about the common risks of childbirth because he doesn't "want to stress her out". ... 45
    via u/Apprehensive-Air5707
  • 18
    Lilcya. 21h Oh, dear god... OP please make your brother understand that his girlfriend CANNOT handle all that alone. If this trip is super important to him, like more important than his family, he probably can go, but he will need to pay someone to come help her. That is the only way he can make this trip. I mean I partially understand. First time parents just can't imagine what it's like to have a child. And it is something you probably only really understand if you already experienced it, that
    via u/Lilcya

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boyfriend family drama vacations pregnancy reddit story relationships girlfriend Travel family pregnant traveling reddit thread Reddit summer vacation vacation
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